So in total, I only made it through 22 days of the 31 day write now challenge. I did, however, make it to my birthday with a blog post every day, so in a way I reached my goal.
I wrote about my last trip to Ft. Lauderdale (A Fling in Ft. Lauderdale and Beauty and the Beach) about a month ago. I didn’t realize then that a month later I’d be right back in the same spot I was then.
And not just physically.
There is something to be said for recognizing and acknowledging patterns in your life. Suddenly I looked up and realized not only was I in the same city I had visited just a few years prior, I was also in the exact same spot.
In an unplanned excursion I found myself right back at the store I had bought 2 of my favorite pair of shoes not that long ago. At that time and during this most recent trip, one thing hadn’t changed–I was still looking for something.
The what I would soon find wasn’t really there. It wasn’t until I got back home that I realized this.
I sat on the beach looking out at the ocean and suddenly I realized it wasn’t about the beach. The ocean waves didn’t really matter. It was the tide in my own heart and mind that was shifting, and I didn’t know where it would end up.
Once the dust settled, I found myself face to face with myself again.
For a moment in time, I appreciated being present. Feeling the sand between my toes and feeling the breeze brush against my face.
I’ve learned not to react to everything that other people do and say. Letting these things impact me is a tragic waste of time, namely because it’s an unproductive pursuit that only fuels my fatigue trying to figure out and control things that are beyond me.
I realize now that whatever the future holds, I’ll be OK.
And that’s OK with me.